24 oneshots in 24 hours
by HannahBananaMcKenzie
Summary: Stay up with us as we write 1 onehot every hour for 24 hours! All Vera Amber's Idea! Will include a tired Hannah and Jill, Figgy, Twilight and Monster. IN COLLAB. WITH SHADDOWLUGIA. T FOR A REASON FOOLS!
1. THE PROMPTS!

So, Exactally what the title says.

24 Oneshots in 24 Hours.

Yeah, I'm crazy but it will be losta fun with the Flock!

DA RULES!

Every hour, for the next twenty four hours, starting at midnight, I'm going to write a short oneshot based on the prompt that correspond to it.

I'm not allowed to start each writing prompt before the hours begins.

If it reaches :57 of the hour, and I'm not finished with the oneshot, I have to post it as is.

Even if it sucks.

The prompts:

1. Kidnapping the Flock

2. Sex talk with Angel

3. Sassy Gay Friend (He returns...again!)

4. Shopping at Victoria's Secret

5. Redhead convention

6. Fang meets Nico

7. Fang cheating?

8. The REAL Maximum Ride High School story

9. T.o.D

10. Hogwarts Letters (Are they ever going to come?)

11. Figgy

12. Where's Gazzy?

13. Iggy for President!

14. Author's Commentary on MR Characters

15. Total Killing Justin Bieber (Because it needs to happen)

16. Twilight

17. Game Show (Who knows Max better?)

18. What the Flock REALLY thinks of Fanfiction

19. They read the books!

20. PIllow fight!

21. Max tries to cook

22. Nudge and Gazzy with Monster and PIxie Stix

23. The Flock: reality TV Show?

24. Sometime, the FLock says goodbye

The idea?

Vera Amber's idea.

However.

If you want to do this, then you can.

But make sure to tell her you're doing it IN A REVIEW OR PM.

LET'S BEGIN, SHALL WE?

But, I need to go buy some Monster and Pixie Stix, so I'll meet you here at midnight?

SEE YOU THEN BITCHES!


	2. So, I guess I got reported

**So you guys are probably like "Hannah, what the hell? I was excited to read your stories and you never did them? Why'd you flake?"**

**Well, the answer is simple. **

**I was reported on one of my stories and I had been suspended from this site until right now.  
**

**The story in question that was reported had nothing wrong with it and I am 90% sure that I know who reported me, and did it because I made them mad. I was so pissed that I emailed the site's admins and demanded that they put the story back on, which they did.  
**

**So, since I was reported I couldn't do anything with this story, and I am still going to do it! I promise! I just don't know when because I can only do it on Mondays or Tuesdays because I work the rest of the days. Next Sunday I am spending the night at one of my friends house and Tuesday I am having a light saber battle with someone I work with (don't ask) so next week is out of the question. I will be doing it, I promise! If I don't, you can all form a mob and come to my house and torture me as you wish.  
**

**But if you want to do something for me, maybe you can review me some spare ideas for this? There are some that I don't really like now so maybe you could give me some alternations?  
**

**Cool, so I'll talk to you all later?  
**

**-HannahBananaMcKenzie  
**


	3. JULY 2TH, BE HERE!

**Yeah, I know. I've been busy so I haven't been able to do this yet, but don't fret! I will be busy for the next 2 weeks, driver's ed., and I have finally decide a date in order to do this: Tuesday, July 2nd , in order to FINALLY do this. the writing prompts will stay as planned, and I might have to steal my sister's old laptop, use my crappy old netbook or use the home computer for this, my brand new laptop just broke.  
**

**So pissed, so pissed.  
**

**Anyways, the first story will be published at 12 o'clock on the morning of July 2 and you will all be there to read and laugh along, right?  
**

**So yes, don't hate me, I haven't had time to start and that's the soonest day I can start.  
**

**Be there!  
**

**-HannahBananaMcKenzie  
**


	4. 001 Kidnapping The Flock

**Hannah: DUDES, WE ARE ACTUALLY FRICKEN DOING THIS. I AM SO FUCKING PUMPED THAT I HAVE BEEN COUNTING DOWN THE MINUTES UNTIL THIS MOMENT FOR THE LASTHOUR. NOT KIDDING.**

_Jill: What's up, people? This is ShaddowLugia (formerly known as Lar'ja-sain'ja) here! I'm collaborating with Hannah for this 24 One-Shots in 24 Hours. Not much to say here except enjoy! You better like it—we're going to be SO tired after this! Losing sleep is not fun! Enjoy!_

**Hannah: My favorite is that Jill is giggling at her own AN like it's the funniest thing ever. But, yeah. What she said. Enjoy this because I'm going to be one tired mother trucker after this, and it's going to be the 4th of July. Not. Cool.**

**So, we should start this, cause we are wasting time.**

**DISCLAIMERTIME!: I don't own Maximum Ride. I do own a crazy cool chair though. It's hurts. And Jill says she doesn't own it either. I just don't want to give her my laptop to her so she can type it. **

**ENJOY BITCHES!**

* * *

**.001 Kidnapping The Flock  
**

Hannah's POV

I've assembled the best team a 16 year old girl with 80 bucks could buy, well, I'm mostly paying them in Jimmy Johns sandwiches...but that's not the point.

I have the following people with me tonight: my OCs Rose, Chrissy, Amber and Sam, my bestest friend Jillian and her OC Ember (who is part human, part Predator, and part Alien)...and the beloved Angel and Maya?

Yeah, they though it would be fun to do this with us, so we let them in.

What are we doing?

Kidnapping the Flock, of course! How else do you think I'm doing this 24 oneshot thing? I need them in order to do this!

We were all sitting around my kitchen table; my parents are out of town, eat out sandwiches. Rose, Maya and Sam got 2 of the biggest sandwiches ever, Angel, Ember and Amber had 1 and a half, and me, Jill and Chrissy just had a half (we gave our other halves to Amber, Ember and Angel). Chrissy was staring in disgust as Sam, Maya and Rose plowed through their sandwiches, and they pretended not to notice.

I just realized, Jill and I are the most normal people at this table.

I've never gotten to say that before. I don't even think Jill and Normal belong in the same sentence.

"So, you guys...have wings." Chrissy asked, freaked out. Don't know why she's all scared of it, she's the one related to a Greek Goddess.

"Yep. And you're a demigod. Just as weird as the rest of us." Rose replied. She looked back to me. Green eyes locked dead on me, and I resisted the urge to shrink back into my chair or push Jill in front of me to take the heat off of me.

I just realized something. How are they out of the School? Last time I wrote about them, they were trapped in London, how did they get here?

I mentally shrugged, magic of FanFiction, I guess.

"What's the plan?"

"Uh...about that..." I said, I hadn't really thought of it. I figured we would just...do it.

Angel sighed, probably thinking something along the lines of 'stupid humans'

"We just go in there and convince them to do this. Iggy's by the door, so we have to get to him and make sure he keeps quiet. Once you get past him, go for Max and Fang because they're the strongest. Nudge and Gazzy won't do anything if you have them. Dylan will sure go after whoever has Max, so that person needs to be the strongest and be able to fight well. Fang will resist, trying to get to Max, so that person needs to be ready for any tricks. Once they calm down, just tell them about the plan. Once they know that you're just a 16 year old girl with no plans for harm, they'll have no reason to not trust you. The younger kids will want to do this, take a break from saving the world and what not, probably Iggy too because he's a 5 year old on the inside. If it's 4 against 3 with a person who can control minds on the 4 side, we'll win. Just make sure they know no harm will come to them, and buy them food. We like food and don't have much of it." Angel said, thinking it all out. Everyone just stared at her and nodded their heads and she shook her head, clearly unamused by us.

That was the plan.

"So, I'll be on Max, Sam will get Fang, Maya will get Dylan, Chrissy...you'll get Iggy since you have a 2nd degree black belt." Rose said, truly becoming the leader that The School planned for her to be.

"What about me!" Amber yelled, throwing her arms in the arm. Amber was always the one to act like a little kid all the time. She may be the same age as Angel with the same looks, but at times, they were polar opposites. Rose's face softened, and she picked the blonde up.

"You, baby doll, will wait around and make sure none of them hurt us, mostly Nudge and Gazzy. If they try to hurt us, you just spear them, OK?" Amber nodded and bounced around in Rose's arms.

Ember sat there, with a confused look on her face. She was a very fucking terrifying thing to look at, in case you wanted to know. Over 8 feet tall with an Alien exoskeleton on her arms and legs and yellow Predator skin and eyes, with black dreadlocks.

Fnicking terrrifying. Especially when she was just sitting at your kitchen table eating Jimmy Johns like this was a totally normal thing to happen to her.

"What about me?" Ember said, choppily. I've learned that Ember talks using choppy language, making her look her age, which is 3, but most 3 year olds I know are barely 2 feet tall, not over 8 feet. Then again, she was created in a lab by crazy scientists. She was even more bizarre than the Flock—at least they were mostly human—Ember was only 1/3rd human.

Angel sat there, not knowing what the hell to say. What do you say to a... thing like that?

"Um... You can just...stand there and look terrifying...which you are already very good at." They stared at each other for a minute, and Angel went back to her sandwich.

Ember put her head to one side. "What does that mean? 'T-terrifying'?" Angel opened her mouth to explain and when no words came, Chissy jumped in.

"Just have our back in case anything bad happens, okay?" Chirssy gave her smile of reassurance.

"Bad? What kind of bad?" Ember asked.

Seriously though people, she looks like she's going to rip your throat out and have it for a little midmorning snack, but she just asks questions. Like, a lot of them.

"Just things that could go wrong in general. We'll need you if something goes wrong." Amber jumped in, giving her a little 6 year old cutesy act to make everything seem better.

Amber was good at that.

"So, me, Angel, Ember and Amber will wait on the sidelines. Angel for mindreading, Amber for spearing and me and Jill for...?" I said.

"You can do whatever the hell you want Miss Creator. I'm sure you can find something to do besides stand there." Sam said, speaking out for the first time this entire meeting. We locked eyes and she smirked, truly showing the cocky side of her I used to write about.

"So, where are they" I asked Angel. Hey eyes moved from the table to mine.

"Right across the street."

_PAGE BREAK_

20 minutes, 1 broken nose, one black eye and losta bruises later (Me and Jill had some to show to people), the Flock was sitting around the couch in the middle of the living room of their safe house.

"So why should we do this FanFiction thing? We kinda have to go save the world; we don't have time to do this." Max said, irritated and touching her broken nose, courtesy of Rose.

"Max, please! It would be so much fun to do! We haven't done anything fun for, like, a really long time! It's only one day, the world can live without us for a day, and she offered to by us food and I'm really hungry! And-" Nudge was cut off my Chrissy, who was touching her black eye, courtesy of Iggy.

"Please. Shut up before I have Ember attack your face," Who was standing by the door, looking not very intimidating. She was watching her tail swish back and forth, not even paying attention. "My head hurts enough without you talking." Nudge crossed her arms and pouted, but it wasn't like she wasn't already use to it.

"So Maximum? Do we have a deal?" I stuck out my hand, she looked at it, Fang and Dylan were about ready to maul me, and Rose and Sam looked ready to maul them if they mauled me.

And then it would be a fight, which would obviously be bad.

After many minutes of silence, she finally stuck her hand out. "Fine."

* * *

**Hannah: neither of us have anything to say. So, yeah. Hoped you liked it, and if you didn't, then you suck at life. Which is not the same thing as failing at life.**_  
_

**REVIEW!  
**


	5. 002 Sex talk with Angel

**Hey.**

_Jill here. So yeah, here's the awkward sex talk chapter with Angel. And Ember! Who technically was raped but...yeah. _

**I feel like Iggy would go out of his way to make this especially awkward, just because he's Iggy and that's way he rolls. Iggy doesn't give a shit. And Jill actually knows what that means now. Honey Badger just takes what it wants.**

_That's Iggy for you._

_By the way...SQUIRREL!_

**HAHA, THAT'S ONE GOES OUT TO KATIE B IN OMAHA NEBRASKA. She goes to school with us and has the mental capacity of a squirrel!**

**DISClAIMER: We don't claim Maximum Ride, Dr. Phil, awkward sex talks or Alien/Predators. Jill owns Ember and I own my fish. He's name Paco, in case you were wondering.**

* * *

**.002 Sex talk with Angel**

Iggy was minding his own business, watching, well, listening to TV when Fang walked up to him.

"Dude, I need your help." The dark boy said, sitting down on the couch next to Iggy.

"What? I'm trying to listen to Dr. Phil here." Iggy said, pointing in the general direction of Dr. M's TV.

Fang stopped dead. Why was Iggy watching, er, listening to Dr. Phil? He rolled his eyes and shook his head, that would be a question for later. "I need to explain something to Angel for me. I don't quite know how to tell her." Fang said, freaking out. It must have been something really bad for him to ask Iggy.

"One condition: You have to help me and Gasman with something that involves a bomb, Nudge's alarm clock and a forest." Fang muttered and looked from side to side, seeing if Max was around.

"Deal." They both got up and the dark one led the blind one to Angel's room, where she was playing with her stuffed teddy bear...thing.

"Hi guys!" Angel said, still playing her bear. Iggy stood there and Fang shuffled around awkwardly.

"Well, Imma leave you to it Iggy." Fang said and practically ran out of the room. What did Iggy have to explain to Angel?

"Iggy, what's 'sex'?" Angel asked, looking like an innocent little angel. Most teen boys would have run or asked questions or something but Iggy stood there. Fang was obviously thinking about it, BUT WITH WHO?, and when she heard it and question, Fang ran to Iggy.

Iggy didn't miss a beat. "It's when 2 people fall in love. The boy sticks his private part in the girl and happy juice comes out. That's also where babies come from."

"Isn't happy juice alcohol?" Angel question.

"No. This is a different kind. But you're not allowed to have sex until your married."

"Have you ever had it?"

"I'm not married am I?" Angel shook her head. "Then I haven't." Iggy then walked out of the room to go listen to the rest of Dr. Phil.

Ha, they were so stupid. Angel had read more than enough adults' minds to know what sex was, she was just bored and wanted to see if anyone here had the balls to tell her.

Iggy had balls, figuratively.

Jill's POV

Ember looked at me, having heard Iggy's sex talk with Angel. Yes, we were creepin' on them by the cracked open window. Problem, bro? "So that is what happened to me? The scientist...had sex...with me?"

I shook my head. "That's different, Ember," I said. "That was rape."

"R-rape?" Ember asked, putting her head to one side.

"Yes. Rape is when someone has sex with someone who doesn't want it," I explained to her.

"Oh," said Ember. She looked off into space thoughtfully, then turned back to me and said, "That was scary. I didn't like it."

So saying, she walked off like nothing happened and got distracted by a squirrel running up a tree.

* * *

**Computers suck. That is all.**


	6. 003 Sassy Gay Friend

**Computers suck. And that's all I have to say about that.**

_Yes, Hannah. Yes it does. :P Hope you all are liking the story so far. If you, like our anonymous reviewer, like Ember, check out her story, titled Ember. I know, so original, right? Anyways, on a side note, I have a ghost named Charlie who tagged along with me to Hannah's house. If you don't believe in ghosts (and therefore don't believe in Charlie), screw you. Sorry but seriously. Pardon my rambling but that's how I roll. Just read my stories and you'll see. Let's let Hannah say something, huh?_

**Seriously though, ghosts are some serious shits. He turned my radio on and I saw something out of the corner of my eyeballs. That, and we are watching Supernatural, which is not helping but hurting. **

**Anyways, this chapter goes out to all the people who love Sassy Gay Friend and hate Dylan.**

* * *

**.003 Sassy Gay Friend**

That day had all been relatively normal. No explosions, no kidnappings, no fights and no drama. Everyone lazed about, watching TV or staying in their rooms. Some went flying, some stayed home. Iggy cooked amazing food, enough for an army, for everyone.

They day had been perfect.

Then, he showed up.

He had appeared for Max and Fang and was responsible for only one of the thousands of Dylan's' deaths on FaniFction.

Sassy

Gay

Friend.

It was even like on the YouTube videos.

They were all gathered around the TV, Ella and Dr. M were at the grocery store, and he busted in the house. Fang and Max were about to tackled him when they realized who he was. He shouted "What, what, what are you doing!" at Dylan. Dylan only looked back with that dumb look he often had on his face. When he realized SGF was talking to him, he merely looked at him with confusion.

"What the HELL are you still doing alive!" SGF shouted. "I though Max killed you last time I saw you guys!" Dylan looked at him.

"That was FanFiction. I die all the time in FanFiction, that doesn't mean I die all the time. That wasn't real." Dylan replied smugly, crossing his arms.

SGF was mad. Steam was practically coming out of his ears. "Oh I'll show you real death!" He yelled, and then whistled. At least 2 dozen girls came running up to the door, carrying bats and crow bars.

"There he is!"

"He broke up FAX!"

"That bastard!"

"LETS GET HIM!" They all rushed into the house, beating Dylan with their weapons.

No one stopped them.

SGF smiled smugly.

And that's the story of how Dylan really died, beaten to death by pissed off fangirls.

* * *

**YEAH, DYLAN. EAT IT. WE GONNA FIND YOU.**

_Yep, Dylan sucks. And he deserves his fate, to die many times over in many different ways. _

_Also, Charlie says hi. Not really, but he deserves to have a say in this. See ya all in the next chapter! :3_

**So, you guys should review for the bitches, because bitches love reviews.**


	7. 004 Shopping at Victoria's Secret

**I'm kinda tired. And hungry. And thirsty. And poor. Anyone wanna give me some money?**

**Yeah, didn't think so. **

_That's okay, Hannah. I'm poor, too. Then again, I don't have a job. Haha. And I'm tired, too. :( But the story must go on! :D_

**The worst hours will be from 2 to 6 because that's when the body wants to naturally sleep, so after that we'll probably be cool. **

_By the way...I do NOT shop at Victoria's Secret. :P_

* * *

**.004 Shopping at Victoria's Secret**

You know those moments in life where you are so embarrassed you just want to die?

Yeah, this is one of those.

The girls were going to the mall and I was bored out of my freaking mind. Nothing on TV, Gasman and Fang went to the grocery store and LEFT WITHOUT ME. To keep myself from dying of boredom, trust me, it could happen, and so I begged the girls to let me go.

Worst. Mistake. Ever.

You wanna know why?

They failed to tell me that they were going to VICTORIA'S SECRET until, oh, about 2 minutes after we were in there.

Yeah, 15 year old guy's worst nightmare to be in there with your almost girlfriend and her 2 friends/practically your sisters.

It was loud. It smelled like that crappy perfume that girls love so much. I was crowded, like all the girls in the state just decided this would be a prime day to go but their...stuff.

They refused to let me leave and they refused to leave, said it was my fault for coming.

THEY DIDN'T TELL ME. WHY WOULD ANY SANE 15 YEAR OLD DUDE GO TO THIS PLACE WILLINGLY UNLESS THEY WANTED TO GET LAID?

Well...I do too but not bad enough to come here!

That's why I have my replacement girlfriend Jill.

Get it?

Okay, good, because I DO NOT feel like explaining it.

Girls, just imagine this please: 3 girls prancing around looking at...stuff and a 6'3" blind guy hanging on the belt loops of one of them. Would you laugh at me?

OF COURSE YOU WOULD. HOW COULD YOU NOT?

In fact, people DID laugh! Well, giggle, but same thing for me!

After almost 5 minutes of this torment, they finally let me leave.

And that's why I've been sitting on one of the benches talking to some old guy named Carl for the past hour.

I really should have stayed home.

* * *

_Yes, Iggy you should have. I completely understand your pain. I hate stores like that :P I'd rather shop at Game Stop or Hot Topic. :D_

**Not gonna lie, if I saw that at VS, I would laugh so hard and so loud. I'm such a shitty person.**

**So, yeah. I'm too lazy to come up with some witty, funny thing to make you review, so just review.  
**


	8. 005 Redhead Convention

**Cool story. So Jill's been obsessing over this fake Pokemon game that has monsters. She's been stalking this legendary monster and when she caught it, she didn't use the experience points on the right monster and she got so mad that she threw her head back, hit her head on my head board on my bed and spilled pop. She now has a bump.**

_Yes. It hurt. But I was SO pissed. I didn't even want to keep the monster, either. I just wanted to get the experience and gold (the exp would have been enough for my monster to transform) and then sell the monster. Sigh. Whatever. Seriously, though check out MonsterMMORPG. It's awesome! :D_

**Or don't and be normal. Either one is cool.**

_Really. Check it out. Pokemon fans: It's almost as good as Pokemon and just as addicting. I am a hardcore Pokemon fan, and I love it. By the way, my name on MonsterMMORPG is Shaddow_Lugia._

**WE DON'T OWN MAXIMUM RIDE OR REDHEADS. **

* * *

**.005 Redhead Convention**

They had been running for God knows how long. Pushing people out of the way, screaming at people, taking random turns, hoping to lose the Erasers, but nothing seemed to work. They stayed on their asses the whole way. It wasn't hard to point them out in a crowd, they were the tall, dirty kids running and shoving people, making it virtually impossible not to see them.

Finally, it came to that point where The Flock was over a block away from the Erasers, making it a lot easier to lose them then when they're practically on top of you.

Would that be rape if you didn't want them on top of you? Or would that just be sexual assault?

These are questions to be asked to a lawyer at a later time, not now when they're running away from dog...things!

The Flock kept running, desperately trying to get away from the Erasers. Hoping to lose them, the six mutants ran into a building...and stopped short. The building was full of redheads! A large banner proclaimed "Welcome to the 31st annual Redhead Convention!"

"What. The. Hell?" said Max.

She looked at Fang, who was staring in awe and amazement at the sight before him. She resisted the sudden urge to slap him and ordered the Flock to hide in the crowd.

"But Max, we'll stand out!" pointed out Nudge. "We don't have red hair! And we don't have any wigs or red hair dye or, like, _anything, _to blend in! How are we supposed to hide We..."

Nudge stopped. She stopped talking for the first time on her own.

She stared at the girl in front of her. In shock, in awe, in hatred, in total frickin amazement.

"Lissa?" Max half said, half shrieked.

The girl stopped right in front of them. The Flock, dirty and with shredded clothing looked like street kids compared to Lissa. Hair as red as ever and skirt as short as ever, she caught Fang's eye immediately.

Lissa's eyes lit up. "Hey, Nick!" she said flirtatiously, giving him a wave.

Max gave her a death glare, which Lissa pointedly ignored. She walked right over to Fang, but Max quickly sidestepped in her way. "I don't think so," she growled murderously.

Lissa stopped short. "Excuse me? Move, bitch."

"Oh HELL NO. You did NOT just call me that." Max spat out. Fang backed up slowly, so he wouldn't cause a scene. Nudge's eyes went wide and Angel smiled like this was the greatest day of her life. Iggy looked so confused and Gazzy looked terrified.

"Yeah bitch. Get your ear checked." She sidestepped Max with ease and stood within feet of the boy in question. "So, what are you doing here Nick?"

And that's when Max took the first punch.

Throughout it all, the rest of the Flock stood and watched, gaping at the two girls catfighting. The other redheads were staring, but no one was paying attention to that.

Fang grinned at Max, who threw another punch at Lissa, who was still screaming at her. "And you said you weren't jealous of her," he said smugly.

At the end of it, Lissa was in need of a new nose and she was on her stomach with Max on top of her twisting her arm behind her screaming 'tap out!' and Lissa screaming names at her.


	9. 006 Fang meets Nico

**HEY I JUST MET YOU.**

**AND THIS IS CRAZY**

**BUT READ MY STORIES**

**AND REVIEW ON THEM MAYBE?**

_Really, Hannah? Sigh. I despise that song with a burning passion like the flames of Hades. Anyways...horrible song pun aside...I really hope you like this story. BECAUSE I AM UP AT FOUR IN THE MORNING TO WRITE THIS WITH HANNAH! Seriously, you're welcome! Gosh! Sorry for that but it had to be said. _

**Jill, you're sad. I stayed up once all night just reading fanfiction. It. Was. Awesome. Until I got to work and I was a tired as a mother trucker.**

**And my dog (Simon) hates my fish (Paco) with a burning passion. **

**Just saying.**

**ONWARDS!**

* * *

**.006 Fang meets Nico**

Jill POV

Hannah was off somewhere with Nudge... I think that Nudge was torturing her with makeup, so I was all alone in this safe house with The Flock. We were watching a movie and I was bored out of my mind. It was some chick flick (who the hell picked it out anyway?), so I wasn't interested. But I had nothing better to do, so there I was, sitting in the living room, watching a stupid movie.

Suddenly, the exciting (insert sarcasm here) moment was interrupted by the random appearance of a" twelve-year-old boy dressed in an aviator jacket and black jeans. His clothes were ripped, he had a black sword in his hand, and he looked like he was being chased.

"Um...what the _hell_ is going on...and...holy crap! You're NICO FUCKING DI ANGELO!" I screamed.

Nico looked at me like I was crazy. "How do you know my name?"

I rolled my eyes. "I read the books. Duh. And I freaking love you!" I crossed my arms and glared at him. "Why can't you be sixteen?"

"Um...I'm technically seventy four, but..." he shook his head. "Never mind that. Can I have some water?"

"Can someone explain what the hell's going on?" said Iggy.

"Some kid randomly appeared out of nowhere and Jill here is having a fangirl freakout," said Fang dryly. He turned to Nico. "So, who are you?"

"Nico di Angelo," said Nico. "Son of Hades."

"Wait, so you're a demigod? Like Chrissy?" said Max.

"Uh...yeah..." said Nico slowly. "How do you know her...?"

"Long story," I said. "You won't care."

He shurgged. "You're probably right." said Nico.

Just then, Hannah walked in the room with Nudge. Upon seeing Nico, a look of shock and delight came over her face.

"OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD," she exclaimed. "Are you Nico di Angelo?"

"How does everybody know who I am?" yelled Nico in exasperation.

"We read the fucking books!" said Hannah. "I ADORE you!"

"So do I!" I protested.

"Yeah? Well you can't have him!" Hannah snapped.

While we argued over who loved Nico more (definitely me!), Fang walked over to Nico, who was staring at us fight.

"Oh my gods," said Nico, shaking his head. "What in Hades is going on?"

"They're fighting over you," said Fang dismissively. "This has happened to me before. Good times." When Nico looked at him skeptically, he added, "True story, bro."

"Okay well, can I have a glass of water? Seriously," said Nico. "I just got chased by monsters and I am freaking thirsty."

"Sure," said Fang with a shrug. He got Nico some water. "And how did you just happen to appear here?"

"Shadow travel," said Nico, once he'd finished drinking. "I was distracted by the monsters trying to eat me and just traveled to a random place." He looked at us warily. "And _this_ is where I end up."

"Yeah...you might want to get out of here before they start chasing after you," said Fang. "Bad things will happen then. Very bad things. Do not underestimate the power of obsessed fangirls."

"Um...okay," said Nico. He turned to leave, then frowed and looked at Fang. "Are you a child of Hades, maybe?"

Fang shrugged. "No idea. It's possible."

"It would definitely explain a lot," said Iggy dryly.

"Okay," said Nico. "I'll ask Dad about it. So...see you, I guess." He vanished into the shadows, never to be seen again.

* * *

_Yep, so I wrote this chapter. I know it's kind of lame but it's like five in the morning and I'm tired. :P So don't judge. Hope you liked it. And Fang really is a son of Hades.  
_

**And my half siblings are the crazy kids who do math in their freetime. **

**That. Sucks.**

**I hate math.**

**Anyways, review or bad things will happen to you.**


	10. 007 Fang cheating?

**So Jill finally broke down and she's now asleep on my floor. With my blanket. The one that I was using. **

**So, yeah. I'm tired and my throat is dry and I'm all alone.**

**FOREVER ALONE!**

**Anyways, this is what happens why I write stuff at 5 in the morning.**

**DISCLAIMER!: WE DON'T OWN MAXIMUM RIDE, and Jill doesn't own the blanket she's using either...**

* * *

**.007 Fang cheating?**

_5 years after Nevermore_

"Fang...why the hell do you smell all flowery?" Max backed out of their hug, giving him the death glare.

"What are you talking about?" Fang questioned. He smelled his shirt. His eyes widened and he dropped the fabric, backing away slowly to avoid the wrath that is Maximum Ride. "Max... it's not what you think. I swear to God it's not what you think."

Holy shit.

Fang cheated on Max.

"You dick. You fucking class A dick. WHO THE HELL WERE YOU WHORING AROUND WITH?" Thank God everyone else was at the grocery store or someone other then Max would be yelling at him, like, her mom and sister.

"Max, I swear to God, I didn't cheat on you. I didn't sleep with anyone."

Max completely ignored him.

"WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT? If you didn't want to be with me anymore, you could have just said so and not fucked some random whore!" She punched him in the stomach, Fang slid to the ground, and Max walked past him, slamming her and Ella's door.

_*30 minutes later*_

Nudge came busting into the house, carrying at least 4 bags on each arm. Fang was morning the loss of his 5 year long relationship when Nudge screamed at him "Fang! Go get the rest of the groceries!" Fang numbly stood up and walked to the door, feeling nothing at all. "Oh, and Fang?" he stopped right in front of her. "Next time you do laundry, don't put your clothes in with mine. You might dye my clothes black, and I can't pull off black like you can."

"Wait! So, I put my clothes in your pile?"

"Yeah, Fang. That's what I just said. God, do you not listen to anything girls say, or do you just not listen to me? Why does not one listen to me! Just because I talk a lot doesn't give people a right to ignore me!-"

And that's when Fang started ignoring her.

What? You didn't expect him to just listen to Nudge ramble, did you?

Nah, that would be dumb!

Instead, Fang just ran into Max's room, didn't even knock or anything.

"My clothes got mixed in with Nudge's. That's why they smell all flowery."

Max didn't even look up from her Ipod, she just continued to play her game.

"Yeah, I know."

WHAAAAAAT?

Fang's eyebrows came together and he gave her a questioning look.

"Fang, what day is it?"

April 1st? But what does that have to do with anything?

Oh wait...

A smile broke out on Max's face. " April fools." She laughed.

A smile broke out on Fang's face. "Oh, you are such a bitch."

But don't worry, Max made it up to him.


	11. 008 The Real MR High School Story

**WARNING! THIS ONE IS MOST LIKLEY GOING TO BE THE SHORTEST AND THE SHITTEST. **

**AAAAND, the sun has risen, which mean I hopefully wont be so gash darn tired.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't claim anything. That's why they have the 'dis' in front of the 'claimer'**

**True story bro, true story.**

* * *

**.008 The REAL Maximum Ride High School Story**

There were not slutty Lissa's, or emo Maxs', No jock Fangs' were found, or overly perverted Iggys'. Nudge wasn't preppy, Dylan wasn't a dick trying to get Max pregnant. No slumber parties were had were both sexes were invited and they didn't get drunk. Max didn't try to kill herself and Gazzy and Angel weren't in high school. They all didn't conveniently have the same schedule and no one got into a fight. They didn't form a band and no one was rich. No one was overly popular and no one was a loser. They all had each other backs, and it was like nothing really changed. Only now they had homework and had to wake up really early. Angel and Gazzy made friends and did normal kid things.

And that's all it was. 85% of the time, it was normal all the time.

And that's all it will ever be.

* * *

**Yeah, sorry. This is bad but I am tired so I'm going to be the Honey Badger and not give a shit.**

**REVIEW FOR US! WE NEED THEM!**


	12. 009 ToD

_Jill here. So yeah, I just slept for two hours and it was awesome. I needed that. But now it's time for Hannah to rest and me to work. I am going to have a really bad headache today, so you're welcome for this story. Ha. I haven't even done most of the work. Aaaanyways, enjoy!_

* * *

.009 Truth or Dare

"Hey, guys!" yelled Nudge, running to find the rest of the Flock. "I have a great idea! It just came to me, you know? And it would be so much fun!" She reached the others, who looked at her.

"So what's your great idea?" asked Max before Nudge could say more.

It was a boring Saturday night, and the Flock really had nothing to do. There was nothing going on, not even anything on T.V. Seriously, how lame was that? Nothing to do on a Saturday? Everyone was bored out of their minds. Why else would they listen to Nudge's great idea (besides to shut her up)?

"Okay, so I was thinking, wouldn't it be fun to play Truth or Dare?" said Nudge. "I've heard about how fun it is. Like you ask someone 'truth or dare', and they have to pick one. And they also have to tell the truth when you ask them a question and they have to do what you say when you tell them to do something. And it can be anything! Which is what makes it fun! You can make them say or do anything!"

"Yeah, Nudge," said Max. "We know how to play." She looked at the others. "Do you guys want to play truth or dare?"

"Sure," said Fang with a shrug.

"Sounds fun!" said Gazzy, and Angel nodded.

"Let's do it!" agreed Iggy.

Max nodded. "Alright. Nudge, you go first, since you picked the game."

Nudge's eyes lit up. "Yay!" she exclaimed. "This is going to be _so_ much fun! Okay, Fang, truth or dare!"

"Dare," he said dismissively.

Nudge's face fell. "Oh. Well I had a really good truth question, you know? But if you want dare that's okay. I mean it's your choice. So let's see...what should I have you do? There are so many options, you know? It's, like, so hard to choose! So what..."

"Nudge, just choose!" said Max.

"Okay, okay!" Nudge said. "Okay...I dare you to wear one of Iggy's brightly colored shirts for the rest of the game! Like, the orange one!"

Fang wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Fine." He followed Nudge to Iggy's room and came out in a bright orange shirt when he came back out. He glared at Max. "Don't. Say. Anything."

Max, who was trying hard not to laugh, nodded, unable to speak.

Iggy grinned. "How does Fang look in orange?" he asked.

"Like an idiot," Gazzy assured him. He smiled nervously at Fang, who gave him a death stare.

"Why do you even have a bright orange shirt, anyway, Iggy?" Fang demanded.

He shrugged. "Nudge made me steal it."

Fang looked questioningly at Nudge, who grinned. "I thought it would be fun," she said. "Oooh, can I go next? Please! Please! Someone ask me!"

"Fine, Nudge!" growled Max. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare! Dare! Dare!" Nudge cried.

"Okay, okay okay!" said Max. "I dare you to shut up for the rest of the game!"

Nudge's eyes widened. She looked like she wanted to say something, but instead, she clapped her hands over her mouth. She looked around frantically, looking like she was going to explode.

"Did it just get quiet in here, or is it just me?" said Iggy with a laugh.

"Can I go next?" asked Angel.

"Sure," said Fang. "Truth or dare?"

Angel thought for a moment. "Truth," she decided.

"Why do you like to read peoples minds so much?" he asked.

She gave him a smile. "Because no one tells me anything if I don't," she said in a sweet voice. "I like to know other people's business."

"Dang," said Max. "That's kinda creepy, sweetie."

Angel shrugged.

"Hey, Max," said Iggy, "Truth or dare?"

"Um...dare," said Max.

He grinned evilly. "I dare you to kiss Fang."

Max gave him a death glare. Walking over to Iggy, she punched him in the face. Without saying anything, she walked out of the room. Like a boss.

"Ooookay, then," said Gazzy.

"Well, I guess I don't get a kiss," said Fang in mock sadness. "Want to keep playing?"

"No, it's not fun without Max. Like, it's really not fun! And I wanted to play this so she would kiss you! Me and Iggy came up with that plan and we thought it was foolproof but obviously it wasn't because she just socked him in the face! So I quit too, mostly so I can talk again." And with that, Nudge stood up and pranced out of the room.

"Yeah, I'm done too. I'm hungry. You wanna go get something to eat Gazzy?" Angel asked her brother.

"Yeah, I could eat." They both got up and went to the kitchen.

And then there was two.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go too Fang, gonna go have Nudge check to make sure your little girlfriend didn't break anything." Iggy got up and walked to Nudge's room.

Which left Fang alone with his brightly colored orange shirt.

Fang sighed and threw his head back on the couch.

And without warning, Max marched back into the room, walked around the couch, grabbed his face and kissed him.

She pulled away, smirked and then whispered "I always do my dares."

Fang's eyebrows rose, she smirked more and then walked out the front door.

Maximum Ride. She is a fucking mystery.

* * *

**I WROTE THE ENDING! SO, I'M PRETTY PROUD OF IT!**

_Yes, and I wrote most of it. With some ideas from Hannah. REVIEW! _


	13. 010 Hogwart's letters

**IMMA WRITE YOU BITCHES SOME STORIES**

**BITCHES LOVE STORIES.**

**Sorry, but it had to be said. **

**So Jill apparently doesn't want to talk to you lovely people, she's to busy playing her stupid fake Pokemon game.**

**BUT THAT'S FINE BECAUSE YOU STILL HAVE ME! *psycho smile* I LOVE YOU ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US!**

**Okay, sorry. This is what happens when I'm tired: I get really creepy. **

**So, in this one shot, Gazzy is 10, going on 11.**

**DISCLAIMER!: WE DON'T OWN MAXIMUM RIDE OR HARRY POTTER! But I do own the British version of the last HP book, if that means anything.**

* * *

**.010 Hogwart's Letters**

It was arguably the best dream Gazzy has had in his short time on this planet.

Blowing stuff up, flying on a broom, making potions ans stuff, being a bad ass in general.

And what does he have to thank for this awe inspiring dream?

Harry

Fricken

Potter.

So, here's the low down on his dream.

He had a dream... that he was a wizard.

YEAH, LIKE HARRY POTTER. IT WAS AWESOME. So instead of having to build bombs, HE COULD JUST DO SOME SPELL AND MAKE STUFF EXPLODE!

It was great.

And his birthday, was the next week.

And he was CONVINCED that he was a wizard and it was only a matter of time before he got his letter.

So, he waited next to the door.

And waited...

And waited...

And waited...

He left his posted for food, bathroom and sleep. And that was it.

He didn't go flying, he didn't hang out with family, he didn't watch TV. He sat on the floor right in front of the letter slot on Dr. M's front door. Most walked around him, and Iggy made a point to step on him.

Pay back, Iggy was as bored as hell.

On the 5th day camping out on, Max finally had it. Gazzy hadn't even left since he had that stupid dream. "Gazzy. You can't be serious, right? Max question. Gazzy glared at her. "I mean, it's impossible, there are no such thing as wizards."

"We're suppose to be impossible too Max, you're forgetting that. If we are possible, then why can't magic be possible?" Gazzy said, still cherishing the last bit of childhood innocence he retained from years of being on the run and fighting.

Max sighed, shook her head and walk away.

His birthday passed with no letter. The next week passes with no letter. Life soon went back to normal, Gazzy stopped camping out in front of the door and starting making bombs again with Iggy.

It wasn't until 3 months later when he got mysterious letter...

* * *

**...Yeah, I'm evil. I know. Leaving up to your imagination!**

_Incidentally, I did not say I don't want to talk to you people. Anyways, I wish I could be a witch and go to Hogwarts. My house is Slytherin (like Snape! Love him)! ]_

_I really have nothing to say. See you next chapter?_

**So yeah. Review and all that shit. **


	14. 011 Figgy

**HEY. WASSUP? I'M TIRED AND KINDA HUNGRY, SO SOMEONE SHOULD COME OVER TO MY HOUSE AND MAKE ME SOME FOOD.**

**No, no takers?**

**Okay...**

_I know how to make food, if that helps at all. So yeah..._

**Yeah, that helps nothing dude. Nothing at all. Side note, Jill is not amused by my fake singing. **

**So yeah. This chapter is about how I tend to make normal situations very, very awkward with my questions. **

**DISCLAIMER!: WE DON'T OWN MAXIMUM RIDE OR AWKWARD QUESTIONS.**

* * *

**.011 Figgy**

Hannah's POV

You know when everything is going good and you just make everything awkward?

No?

Yeah, because that stuff usually happens to me.

Yeah, that's pretty much what happened. Things were going good, me and Jill we in the living room, watching some movie with Nudge, Fang and Iggy. Max and Angel were off somewhere, and Maya and Dylan were 'doing stuff'.

Yeah, sexual innuendo all up in that.

I think that Dylan just settled for Maya, personally. How do go from being in love with the original to being with the clone?

…

…

...

That's what I thought.

So, we were all sitting there, The guys on one couch and the girls on the other (what is this? An middle school dance?) when I noticed Fang and Iggy sitting pretty close.

…

…

…

Like...really close.

Like so close it made me think of very bad things.

So, me being the self diagnoses ADD 16 year old, yaoi obsessed fangirl I am, I immediately said this:

"Do you guys know what 'Figgy' is?" Nudge happened to be drinking water, so she choked on it and starting coughing her lungs up. Iggy started laughing so hard he turned red and Fang simply chuckled. Jill laughed along with Iggy and said, "Hannah, you win at life!"

Me? I just sat there, totally serious.

"But seriously."

"Duh. We have read fanfiction, we know what 'Figgy' is." Iggy said, wiping the tears from his eyes from laughing so hard.

Prepare for another awkward question...

"Did you like it?"

And then it got really quiet.

"Um...no." Fang said, being totally serious. "We're straight, so we don't like our own shipping."

Aw... they know what shipping is.

I didn't even know what that meant until, like, last month.

"How do you know?" I said like a smartass.

"How do we know what?" Iggy questioned in my general direction.

God...I love him so much...

"How do you know you're straight if you're never tried?"

Nudge left the room... the conversation got too awkward for her, I guess.

Fang stared at me, which he really should. Iggy tried to to laugh at me.

Wow... awkward.

Jill was trying not to laugh in my face.

Then, they shared a look, well, Iggy was kinda sharing a look with the TV, but whatever.

"Um... I know I am." Fang said with absolute certainty.

A couple awkward seconds later

"Oh yeah. Me too." Iggy said.

Then me and Jill shared looks.

Oh, Iggy is defiantly bi.

* * *

**Sorry it's late! I got distracted by Chinese food and rage comics!**

_Yeah, it's my fault that Hannah got distracted by rage comics. But hey, rage comics are freaking awesome! _

…

_I did not contribute much to this chapter, but hope you like it. REVIEW for Hannah's sake!_


	15. 012 Where's Gazzy?

**So, your group for a zombie apocalypse: last game you played main character, last thing you read main character, and last thing you watched main character. How screwed are you?**

**I have Mario, Iggy and Fang and Sam and Dean from Supernatural. So I have 4 hot guys on my side, 2 that can FRICKEN FLY and to who probably know how to kill zombie, SO I'M GOLDEN. **

**And Jill's people are Mario, Percy Jackson and Sam and Dean, SO WE'RE BOTH GOLDEN. **

**Yeah, true story. Jill's too busy to come say hi, she's reading BotL, so yeah. **

**Cool, so this is a game of hide and go seek gone wrong. **

**DISCLAIMER!: We don't own Maximum Ride or hide and go seek. **

* * *

**.012 Where's Gazzy?**

It started out as a simple game of hide and go seek. But, knowing the Flock, simple things like this always had a thing with going wrong, like, life or death wrong.

It's was Angel's turn to count, and since she only knew how to count to 30, that's what she was counting to. Everyone ran in different directions, except Iggy and Fang because they were playing together. They played at Dr. M's house and the only rule was no leaving the property, because serious shit happens then. And Angel was not allowed to read minds to find them or serious consequences would be dealt. By Max.

Max ran to the broom closet, Nudge ran to the back porch and hid under the picnic table covered with a table cloth, Fang dragged Iggy to Dr. M's bathroom and hid in her walk in closet.

And Gazzy?

Well, he did what no other kid had ever dared to do.

He flew up on the roof and hid in the chimney.

When Angel finally finished counting to 30 (it took her a while; she kept repeating numbers), she set out to look for the rest of the Flock.

She checked the first obvious hiding place—under the bed. But no one was there, of course. So she looked in the nearby broom closet—and found Max.

"How did you find me so fast?" said Max in mock surprise. Just to make Angel feel better.

"Because you're hiding in a very obvious place?" said Angel. "I'm going to find the others!"

She looked under all the tables, and found Nudge under the table outside. Again, it was a really obvious place. Even more than a freaking closet.

She then proceeded to check the kitchen, the living room and all the kids rooms. When none of the boys were found, she ventured into Dr. M's room, looking everywhere and not finding anything in her room.

But her bathroom was a different story.

She found them in Dr. M's closet, Iggy playing with her jewelery and Fang sitting in a chair smirking at Iggy.

Now all who was left was Gazzy, who was usually the first one found because he's so loud. But the house was quiet and there was no sign of him. Not a peep. Which was very strange, to say the least.

After searching every inch of the backyard, the Flock was starting to get worried.

"Where the heck _is_ he?" exclaimed Max.

_Meanwhile, in the chimney_

Gazzy was sleeping.

Yeah, sleeping. He waited so long to be found that he just fell asleep.

And it is not comfortable. At all

_Back with the searching team_

The Flock flew into the air, hoping to spotGazzy. At first, no one saw anything but the house and yard, but suddenly, Max screamed, "Holy crap! He's asleep in the freaking chimney!"

"Wait...what?" Fang said, landing on the roof to investigate. He looked in the chimney and shook his head. "Wow," he said. "Just...wow."

"_Gazzy, wake up!_" yelled Max.

Gazzy jumped out of the chimney, startled by Max's very loud and annoying voice. He was covered in soot. "What's going on?" he said. "I was taking a nap! Problem?"

Max crossed her arms. "That's it. No more hide and go seek!" She glared at Gazzy. "Ever."

* * *

_I wrote like half of this. You're welcome. REVIEW!_

**That reminds me of Saide Saxton from Awkward.**

**Anyone?**

**Anyone?**

**Oh, just me?**

**Okay.**

**Well, review anyways or bad things will happen. **

**ZOMBIES!**


	16. 013 Iggy for President!

**Hey, so Jill is leaving in a couple hours, so I think that Total killing Justin Bieber will be the last one we do together and then it'll just be me and my dog that hates me. She's currently swinging on my swing set, so hold on, let me go get her real quick.**

_I was just having a little kid moment swinging like a boss. But I came to say hi, so win for me! I will only be here for two and a half more hours, so Hannah will be alone after that :( Sorry guys but I have a movie to watch (Prometheus, in case you want to know—I'm a huge Alien fanatic) and it will be awesome. So here's Hannah again! :3_

**Um, so yeah. This oneshot takes place in 2008, around the election when our lovely president Obama was elected (sarcasm), obviously because this is call 'Iggy for president'.**

**DISCLAIMER!: WE DON'T OWN MAXIMUM RIDE OR DEMOCRACY  
**

* * *

**.013 Iggy for President!**

It started with a campaign commercial. A stupid, fricking campaign commercial started this whole thing, and now they were paying for it.

Obsessed with becoming President, Iggy had begun his campaign and miraculously was elected President. Which wouldn't be a problem if Iggy wasn't so damned obsessed with his new power. The Iggy we all know and love was gone, replaced by an arrogant, dick version of him. Needless to say, he was a total jackass.

The Flock hating the 'new Iggy' and they set out on the journey- a journey to get Iggy impeached.

Fang set up the entire operation.

And for this operation, he need the one thing that is guarantied ruin anyone's career.

Strippers.

By sending strippers to the oval office as well as reporters and informing the tablets, they effectively ruined his career and Iggy himself resigned, not being about to take anymore of this.

He then went crawling back to the Flock, begging for forgiveness, which they gave him.

And they all lived happily ever after.

* * *

**Blah, I kinda just want this to be over. I'm kinda tired. And Jill doesn't want to say anything, because my laptop hates her stinking guts. **

**SO REVIEW!**


	17. 014 Commentary on MR characters

**Hey, so my dad just told me that I need to go do shit in a while, so I'll be gone for a couple hours a not about to update... sorry. BUT I WILL FINISH THIS, but this is the last chapter for a little while.**

_Yes, and I will be gone soon :( Poor Hannah will be Forever Alone. Well, she has her dog and fish, so she's not completely alone. Still...Have fun, Hannah. _

_Side note: If you wanna read more of my writing, check out my stories. One complete story, two in-progress stories and some one-shots. _

_So yeah, see you guys! And if my writing sucks, well this is my first time writing Maximum Ride FF. _

_Now, bye-bye! :D_

_**DISCLAIMER!: WE DON'T OWN MAXIMUM RIDE, BUT WE DO OWN YOUR SOULS!**_

* * *

.014 Author's commentary on MR characters.

Hannahbanana:

Maxie: I really don't care for Max. She's bossy, and thinks she always right and the last couple books are about her and her love triangle and not about the actual plot. I don't hate her, but I don't love her.

Fangles: He was one of the best characters in TAE and he's still one of the best characters. He's cool, and sweet, but not totally out there. He cares about the other kids, but isn't overbearing like Max. Even though he left Max, I think that he did the right thing. She couldn't think straight around him, and it was smart to pull himself out of the equation, but it wasn't smart to get with Maya. Not smart at all.

Igster: He's amazing and I love him to death, he is defiantly my favorite character in the series.

Nudge channel: I don't like Nudge. At all. She talks too much and she's just annoying.

Gazzy!: He's adorable and I really like him. He's a smart kid and very funny, and he just wants what's best for his sister.

Demon?: I'm conflicted on her. I liked her in the beginning but as the series went on and she wanted more power then was dealt to her. She just wanted what was best for the Flock and I really don't think she had any bad intentions. I think that she will play a very big part in Nevermore, maybe even as big as Max

Dylantheloser: I don't hate him because he wants Max, he can't help who he was programed to love, but I don't like anything else about him. I find him annoying and confrontational and conceited.

Ellathesister: I don't like her, and that is all I have to say about that.

_Jill: _

_Max: She doesn't really have a personality, she is full of herself, and bossy as hell. Her relationship with Fang annoys me, and...I just don't like her. End of story._

_Fang: He used to my favorite character, until I started liking Iggy more. Now he's my second favorite. But still an awesome character, and one of the characters that doesn't annoy me or piss me off. He's not bossy like Max, he doesn't talk constantly like Nudge and he actually has a freaking personality. His cool attitude and sense of humor are great. And he is waaaaay better than Justin-Bieber-wannabe Dylan. Seriously. Fang is awesome._

_Iggy: Iggy is awesome. He's a blind kid who can build bombs and sense colors without being able to see! How freaking cool is that? I love how being blind doesn't make him helpless, and I love ho_

_w kickass he is. He's my favorite character because he's just so awesome in personality and his many sweet skills. Who else can cook and make things freaking explode without being able to see? Really? Iggy, you rock. _

_Nudge: She's just there talk. Fuck Nudge._

_Gazzy: Gazzy would be an awesome little brother to have. He's a lot like other boys his age but not as annoying. He can make bombs and he's an awesome sidekick for Iggy. I don't love Gazzy but don't hate him either. But I do like him and wish he was my little bro. _

_Angel: Angel creeps the hell out of me. She looks like a cute little girl but she is an evil, demonic, mind-reading creep. I don't like Max, but seriously, how can Angel take over the Flock? Hell. No. She's a freak, even more than the other Flock members. I don't like her. End of story._

_Dylan: Hate him. He reminds me of Justin Bieber, and that is a horrible insult coming from me. They both suck eggs and I hate him. He needs to die. The End._

_Ella: She has no personality. She's just there. And she cannot have Iggy. She annoys me almost as much as Nudge. She needs to die, too._

_Ari: I love Ari and almost started crying when he died. And I pretty much never cry. I loved his story, and it made him and his relationship with Max even more interesting. I love Ari. That's all I have to say.  
_

* * *

_Now it's really goodbye. Not really-you can find me on FanFiction as ShaddowLugia-but it's goodbye for this story. See you all laters! _

* * *

**So, yeah. Last chapter for a couple hours, so try not to miss me too much? I will finish this, even if I have to stay up until 3 or 4 in the morning, I will finish. I will not let this die on me.**

**SO REVIEW AND YOU CAN HAVE YOUR SOUL BACK!  
**


	18. 015 Total killing Justin Bieber

**Wow... so I'm all alone. And I don't know how I'm going to do this without Jill! I miss her!**

**Anyways, while I was gone, I spent 9 dollars at Starbucks and it was fnicking worth it. I hate coffee but they have a caramel frapp and it's fucking amazing. **

**And I have takis, which can make anything better.**

**DISCLAIMER!: I DON'T OWN MAXIMUM RIDE, JUSTIN BIEBER OR TAKIS.**

* * *

**.015 Total killing Justin Bieber**

It was over quick, like when a ballon pops. One second it's there, the next. Vanished.

Just like that.

Justin Bieber was a lot like that, the ending of his life, at least.

Only it wasn't like that at all. It was slow, painful. So bloody and gory then even Total had to shield his eyes and he was the one doing it!

So, how did the dog do it?

It was easy. Everyone knows that he likes puppies and when he finds a cute little black scottie on the street, the little JBs just had to take him back to his swanky hotel he was at while in town.

It was night when Total committed the act, killing the teen pop start.

And since this story is only rated T, I can't really go into the detail of it. It would far exceed the T rating, going straight to the M rating, and 'm too lazy to go change the rating.

I'm a lazy bitch, problem?

But, since I can't really go into the details... let's just say that his intestines were found in the bathtub and his body hanging off the balcony.

And Total was never caught...

* * *

**Yeah, I know, it fucking sucks, but I'm running off about an hour of sleep and I've been awake since about 11 yesterday and the last story will be posted at 1, which is in 8 hours.**

**I'm so good at math.**

**SO REVIEW!**


	19. 016 Twilight

**Twilight, one of the few things I will get into arguments over with complete strangers.**

**WARNING, IF YOU LIKE TWILIGHT, DON'T READ! TWILIGHT BASHING.**

**If you people don't already know, I hate twilight with a burning passion. Bella has no personality, no flaws, the book is sexist and a very bad influence on teenaged girls, and this is coming from a former fan. Now, I despise it. **

**So, yeah, this is one of those where it's don't like, don't read. And so don't review and say how I'm wrong about it or anything, because I will promptly delete your review. **

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN MAXIMUM RIDE OR TWILIGHT, I would kill myself if I was the one who gave birth to Twilight.**

* * *

**.016 Twilight**

Max hates Twilight with a burning passion. First, It is totally and completely sexist. Bella just does whatever the hell Edward tell her to do. Second, it's pretty much telling girls to throw away their lives for a guy. Third, THERE IS NO POINT TO THE SERIES.

And the list goes on forever.

In Max's mind, Twilight sucks.

Which it does.

It sucks eggs

While Max thinks one thing about Twilight, Nudge thinks the complete oppisite.

She thinks it is an amazing book series! It's so romantic and it has vampires and werewolves and forbidden love and what more could you ask for in a saga? Edward watches Bella sleep! That is SO romantic, and the books are so relatable!

_Page break!_

So, now that you have the background info, you can hear the actual story.

It all started because of that stupid book. Everything was started by it.

Max walked in the front door after grocery shopping with her mom (hey, she needs help by enough food to feed an army) when she saw that book in Nudge's hands.

The third book, or something like that.

"NUDGE! WHAT ARE YOU READING?" Max screamed.

Nudge was barley fazed.

"New Moon." She said, still starring at her book.

Oh my God, she didn't even start rambling...

Max put the bags on the ground, and cautiously walked over to Nudge "Nudge, give me the book." Max had her hand out.

Nudge looked up for the first time, rose an eyebrow "No! I'm not going to give you my book, I'm reading it, obviously." She went back to her book.

Max was not having Nudge disobeying her, so she snatched the book out of her hands.

"Max! What the heck is wrong with you!" Nudge yelled. She pouted and crossed her arms.

"Nudge, you are not allowed to read this book."

"Why! Amber, Sally and Jessica get to read it! That's so not fair, Max! Why can't I!" said Nudge in a huff, Dr. M and Ella walked in carrying the rest of the groceries.

"What's going on here?" Dr M asked.

"Max wont let me read Twilight and I really like these books and there the only books I have actually ever liked and Max took it away from me!" Dr. M shrugged and walked off, not wanting to get involved in this at all. Ella followed her mom and said nothing. Nudged huffed. "Why wont you let me read Twilight, Max?" She wined.

"Because they're bad books and I don't want you reading them." She said simply. Nudged sighed

"OK, fine." Max smiled in triumph and walked away

_later that night_

It was needless to say that Nudge found the book in Max's room and stole it back.

She just had to read it in secrecy now.


	20. 017 Game Show

**I'm really tired of this thing now. I really want to quit, but I can't. I can't quit because then I quit the only actual story I've ever done and I refuse to do that.**

**Plus, I think that even if I wanted to, I couldn't. **

**SO THIS SHOW MUST GO FUCKING ON! GIVE ME SOME MOTIVATION PEOPLE!**

**DISCLAIMER!: I don't own Maximum Ride, but I do own Rose and the idea for this game show. **

* * *

**.017 Game Show**

Cheesy game show music played in the background, Fang and Dylan standing behind two cardboard podiums and a girl with long red hair stood in between them, standing behind her own podium, that was painted hot pink with glittery stickers all over it.

… Yeah, that one was on Nudge.

The music ended and the red head girl rose a fake microphone to her mouth. "Hello everyone! My name is Rose Klausen and I will be hosting this episode of "Who knows who better?', mostly because I know more about Maximum Ride then all these fuckers on stage." She paused for a minute before speaking again "And my producer just told me I'm not allowed to cuss, which is very... stupid because my producer created me and knows I cuss every other word. And I am being held against my will, so someone please help me." She put on fake smile and waited for someone to rescue her.

No one came.

She sighed and mumbled something about 'sissy bitches' She sighed and put her fake smile back on.

"Today, our contestants are two very... special people. Both have been fighting over a girl for a long time and come here to settle it once and for all. Fang" Rose gestured to Fang, fangirls in the audience went crazy, one threw panties on stage, "Has know Max for almost his entire life and has been best friends with here until a couple months ago when they started dating, and that's when Dylan" Rose gestured to Dylan, girls booed him and some threw tomatoes at him, " Came in and tried to convince Max they are soulmates. This has caused many problems in their group, which is why they came to us. I'm here because I know almost every single thing about Max and because I could probably flip both of them over my shoulder at the same time." She sighed and an awkward silence was brought upon the studio. "Let's start, shall we?" Girls screamed and clapped. "Okay! So, here's how the game works boys. I'm going to ask you both 10 questions and for every question you get right, you get 100 points. After that, there will be a lightning round consisting of 15 questions, each worth 100 points. When the results are tallied, we will announce the winner but it is ultimately Mac's decision who she wants to be with. We can't exactly force her to be with one of you." Fang glared at Dylan.

(And because I'm lazy, I'm not going to list the shit)

By the end of the game, Rose was about to punch them both in the face, Fang wanted to rip off Dylan's face and Dylan just wanted to rip off Max's pants.

Oh, come on. You know it's true.

By the end of the game, Dylan had gotten every single question right, scoring a total of 2,500 points.

Personally, Rose thought that it was cheating because Rose and Dylan read the same files on Max and knew the exact some things, letting him not miss one.

Fang on the other hand... didn't do as well as Dylan.

He got 1,800 points, which is still really good, but just not as good at Dylan.

"Well, even though I think it is totally unfair that Dylan can even play this game, you won Dylan, you may now bask in the glory of being a grade A stalker." With that, Rose walked off the stage back to her dressing room to yell at her producer/creator/me.

And then...

Max walked on stage.

She waved to the audience, who were all telling her to pick Fang.

"So, I have come to my decision."

Silence.

Absolute silence.

Even a baby in the back row stopped crying.

"Dylan, you're really nice, but it's really creepy that you know all that. It's fine that Rose knows it all, that's cause, she's Rose, but it's creepy to have a possible future boyfriend know everything about me. So, I have to pick Fang."

Cheering. And screaming. And clapping. And making out.

Oh yeah, some serious making out.

* * *

**Ugh. I'm so tired. And so bored. And so tired. And it's only 8:30 **


	21. 018 What do they think of it?

**So yeah. Next oneshot. I really just want this to be over. I'm all sweaty and I can't shower because then I wont have enough time to write this and it's gross. **

**And this is copied from my Fandom, Really? story, the last chapter. Why? Because I don't feel like writing a new one.  
**

**DISCLAIMER!: I don't claim Maximum Ride or fanfiction, I just claim my insanity. **

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.018 What do they think of it?

Max: You guys may think I'm a cutter, depressed, all googly eyes over Fang (which is SOO NOT true!). You guys may screw up stuff and make me look bad, but you guys are OK people. Remember, we're saving the world for people like you, that must count for something.

Fang: You guys are OK people when it comes down to it, I guess...

Iggy: THERE IS ENOUGH IGGY FOR ALL OF YOU LADIES OUT THERE. Trust me, I can manage all the love from you guys out there. But if you're one of those people who think I'm a whore, then it's on.

Nudge: I love all of you guys! even if you guys hate me and think I'm annoying, I love you guys! Without all you amazing fans, our story would have never been told! Even though you put me with almost every guy in the Flock, I still love you!

Gazzy: JUST WRITE MORE STORIES ABOUT ME AND WE'll BE GOOD!

Angel: PS, I am not evil, I was just lost and I thought I was doing what was best for the Flock. Don't think I'm evil, and for those of you who stand up for me, thanks.

Total: Stop forgetting about me! I'm always left out, even more then Gazzy! I'm there too, so write about me too! (**awkward moment where I only mention him once)**

Bridgette and Lissa: Not sluts, not bitches, not cheerleaders, not slutty, bitchy head cheerleaders. Therefore, stop writing us as such.

Dylan...: STOP HATING ME YOU GUYS! I'M SORRY I LOVE MAX, I CAN'T FREAKING HELP IT! I DIDN'T BREAK FANG AND MAX UP, SO DON'T BLAME IT ON ME! *goes to cry in emo corner*

Ella: DON'T HATE BECAUSE I'M ALMOST WITH IGGY.

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**Oh Ella, how I despise you. So this is almost word for word the last chapter of my Fandom, Really? If you haven't read that story, go read it now. **

**So review?  
**


	22. 019 Reading the books?

**So, this is number 19 and I am very excited, I never though I was going to get this far. I'd like to thank all the people who have gotten me to this point, my mom, my sister, my fish and Jill and I'd like to thank all the little people, like my science teacher from 7th grade and my elementary gym teacher. **

**Sorry, I'm a weirdo.**

**DISCLAIMER!: I don't own Maximum Ride, nor do I really want to.  
**

* * *

**.019 Reading the books?  
**

The Flock sat around Dr. M's living room, watching some random cooking show with food that looked like puke. They've been doing the same thing all day, sitting around the house, doing nothing. It was too wet to go flying and there was nothing to do at the house but laze about and pray for something awesome to appear.

"Maaax. Maaax. Maaaaaaaaaax." Gazzy started poking Max and Max was trying not to hit him.

"Whaaaaat?" Max repeated in the same whiny tone Gazzy was using.

"I'm bored." He replied, stating the fricken obvious.

"We all are, but unless something just drops from the sky and provides us with entertainment, we're kinda screwed."

_SLAM! _

__"Um...what the heck was that?" Iggy asked, but everyone was busy look up at the ceiling and the table.

"Did, did those books just fall from the ceiling?" Angel asked Max.

"Uh... I'm pretty sure they just fell out from the ceiling." Max replied, still staring at the ceiling, which was totally normal.

Wow, that is now the legal definition of 'dropping from the sky'.

Nudge picked up one of the books and opened her mouth.

Ah crap, Nudge Channel.

"OMG! Aren't these your books Max? The ones you wrote under that fake name? OMG that was so totally cool! How did they just come out from the ceiling like that? Do you think we might have a ghost or something? But I don't think there are such things as book ghosts, but that would be totally cool if they were! Hey Max! We shou-" Max slammed her hand on Nudge's mouth, instantly shutting her up and everyone promptly ignored everything she just said.

"Hey we should read them!" Angel yelled and grinned, picking up one called MAX.

"Why? We kinda lived it already, so why would we read them?"

"Maybe they're something really cool about them, I mean, they did drop from the freakin ceiling." Gazzy said, Fang nodded

"And I'm hungry." With that, Iggy left the couch and went to the kitchen and the others followed him, the proposition of food was far greater then reading.

Why read the books when you've already lived them?

* * *

**God, I want to sleep. **

**Ugh.  
**

**Review!  
**


	23. 020 Pillow fight!

**This is going to be another chapter of us back at the safe house, and it's the last 5 so I'm fricken happy and will most likely fall asleep at the computer chair.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN MAXIMUM RIDE OR PILLOWS.**

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**.020 Pillow Fight!  
**

**Hannah's POV  
**

It started with a simple request. That's all it was and because of it, Dylan now has a broken nose and there are a lot of bruises to go around, but Fang has plenty of things to say for his blog.

So, you should all know this in advance. I can't throw for shit. Or catch. Or run. Or do anything that involves anything physical. I can hit sometimes and maybe kick. But throwing? No.

"Hey. Dude. Pass me that pillow."The requested that started this was stated by Gazzy. I sighed and had to sit up to give him a stupid pillow.

So, when I had to throw this pillow half way across the freakin room, Nudge happened to be walking right next to him.

Yeah, you can guess what happened.

It hit her. Full on. In the face.

I snickered.

And by that I mean I had to grab another pillow to keep myself from laughing at her.

"Gazzy!" She screeched, grabbing the pillow and slammed that into the side of his head. And when Gazzy picked up a pillow to throw at her...

You guessed it. He hit someone else walking in the room.

And that person happened to be Iggy.

"Ok, who hit me with a pillow."

"Nudge did it!" Gazzy yelled

"Did not!" She screeched again, and Iggy picked up the pillow and hit Nudge with it.

Like, really hard. Hard enough to give me a bruise and it was a fricken pillow.

And from there, it just escalated to those three hitting each other, to getting Dylan and Max in on it.

And I'm pretty sure someone got a broken nose (Dylan).

And I just sat there on my couch and watched them fight. Maya sat down next to me and Fang recoded it.

Don't ask me where he got it from, he just had it though.

It was arguably the best pillow fight I was not involved in.

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**In the words of Jill: This sucked eggs, but I just don't care. HannahBananaMcKenzie doesn't give a shit.**

**REVIEW!  
**


	24. 021 Max tries to cook

**.021 Max tries to cook**

****Her first times were disastrous. But Max thought she might have been starting too big, trying to do things that she wasn't yet capable.

But, she finally thinks she had the perfect thing.

Toast.

Bread that was just in the toaster.

Because how often do you hear of toaster accidents?

That's right, never.

So, while Iggy was making eggs and he asked Nudge to make toast, Max quickly intervened, demanding that she had a chance to prove her dormant cooking abilities.

"M-Max, are you sure you want to do this? I mean, we only have one toaster and we don't really have the money to go buy a new one." Nudge said in a panicked voice.

"Nudge, come on! It's toast! It's not like it's some big complicated thing!" Iggy sighed and shrugged.

"But if you burn down my kitchen, Ride, you're fixing it." He stuck his finger out in her general direction and Max nodded. She went over to the toaster and pulled out the loaves of bread they had, putting in 4 pieces into the toaster.

A couple minutes later they shot up.

and they were...

Black.

The toast was burnt to a crisp.

Before anyone even had the chance to say anything to her, she walked away, muttering something about making cereal.

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**Poor Max, she can do everything but cook.**

**But we can't have everything.  
**

**REVIEW!  
**


	25. 022 Nudge and Gazzy with energy

**.022 Gazzy and Nudge with Pixie Stix and Monster**

I had asked everyone where they went. They just seemed to vanish.

I knew it would be a bad idea to by them, but I though nothing would happen to them.

And those things are my babies! I NEED MY ENERGY DRINKS. How do you think I stay hyper all the time! MONSTER, IT'S GROSS BUT MAKES MY ENERGIZED.

Like the energizer bunny...

AND PIXIE STICKS. THEY ARE SUGAR WITH FOOD COLORING, I NEED THEM.

And it's really not good that I lost my stuff in a house of kids who have wings.

So, here I am, searching the couch for my beloved items.

When a wild Nudge appears.

"Hey, hey, hey Hannah! What's up! Looking through the couches for coins! Are you a pirate or something and you're looking for money!" She started giggling and then made pirate noises.

Oh. My. God.

I stood up slowly, as not not startle a wild creature. "Nudge, did you take my Monster?"

"If your taking about that stuff that tastes like pee, yeah I did. It's gross, why do you have that stuff if it's so gross. Do you use it to throw up?"

"Um, no. I'm not bulimic." She started bouncing around like a hyper little monkey.

"Then why do you drink it! It's so gross! I really wish I traded with Gazzy when I could, he got the Pixie Sticks and I get this crap."

"Nudge, Gazzy has my Pixie Sticks?"

"Yep! He hasn't eaten them yet though, he said he's waiting for something. I don't know what though, he would tell me." She paused and saw Angel and hooked on her arm and started jabbering away.

I shook my head then went into rescue mood.

I NEED TO SAVE MY PIXIE STICKS!

/

Finding Gazzy is hard work. It was like he kept moving rooms, which he was to keep himself hidden from me.

I finally cornered him in a room and yelled at him until he gave my them back, the package open and some missing.

Nudge wouldn't stop bouncing around and talking, Gazzy took some of my Pixie Sticks and ended up trying to jump off the roof with his wings tucked in.

So, note to self: never show the younger kids anything energy.

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**So, the next chapter will be the last chapter.**

**Yeah, only 23 but I'm about to fall over and die, I've been up for over 36 hours and I need to go to sleep, like, last night.  
**

**So, yeah. REVIEW!  
**


	26. 024 Sometimes, the Flock says goodbye

**This is my last chapter. Yeah, quitting one chapter early but I can't take it anymore. I've slept a little over an hour in the last 36 + hours and I can't do it. My throat hurts, my head hurts, I might be doing stuff tomorrow for 4th of July. I need to go to sleep.**

**So thank you for all the people who favorited, subscribed, reviewed and read it. I with Jill was here so she could say her little thank you.  
**

**and, for the last time, DISCLAIMER!: I don't own Maximum Ride or anything mentioned in this entire story. I'm not cool enough to own it.  
**

* * *

**.024 Sometimes, the Flock says goodbye  
**

****Hannah's POV

"Thanks for doing this with me you guys it really meant a lot to me." Max rolled her eyes dismissively.

"It's ok, it was actually kind of fun. Maybe you could write more about us?" She questioned.

"Yeah, most defiantly." I smiled and nodded.

and then, I was released into the care of my first and favorite OC, Rose

"I can't believe you actually did it." Rose said, walking me back to my house, which was right across the street

"Well, almost did it, but whatever. It's 1 oneshot missing, so whatever."

"Well, technicalities aside, I can't believe you actually attempted this. You know you're only, like, one of the 5 or 6 people to do this, right?"

"Really?" She nodded the threw her hair over her shoulder "That's really fucking cool." She nodded. "You know, you're not that scary."

"What do you mean?"

"I always though that you would be very intimidating or scary, but you're pretty cool." She chuckled

"Thanks, I guess. I'm like this because I kind of like a different side to you, so we're kind of suppose to have compatible personalities."

"So, you're like my alter ego?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say that." We walked the rest of the way in silence, until we got to my front door. "You should start writing about me again Hannah. So much is left undecided in my future." I chuckled.

"Yeah, there is. I don't know, maybe." I unlocked my door and it swung open "You wanna come in?"

She shook her head sadly. "I have to get going, you know, back to London."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, some had to and it just happened to be me." We stood there for an awkward second. "So, I guess I should go." She waved and started walking back to my gate and disappeared.

Which left me alone. With my bed.

Sleep here I come.


End file.
